Holy crap, I’ve been tagged twice to do a “weird things about me” meme.
You kids with your fancy new words and terminology. I had to look up what a meme was before I could even start to contribute to one. And I guess I also needed to learn what that “incoming links” list on my WordPress dashboard was all about, cause Alejna tagged me to do this back in April. Well good thing this is all working itself out. This is helping me grow (and procrastinate). I had to figure out how to embed videos for this post! These are all steps in the technovanced direction!
There are definitely enough weird things about me to make for interesting stories. And I relish telling a good story. I hinted at some of my quirks a while back, when I posted Things to Ask Me at a Cocktail Party and More things to Ask Me at a Cocktail Party. Oprah wouldn’t even have to confront me about embellishing some of those doozies, cause even in telling the plain truth they’re outrageous. When Alejna tagged me to do the meme, I was to do a list of 6 weird things about me. When Alex tagged me, I think the ante was upped to 8. Eight is a good even number. There couldn’t possibly many more than 8 weird things about me…
So Alejna, Alex, world at large, here you go. Without further ado, here are 8 random things about me:
1. My grandfather invented the cardboard milk carton. The one that looks like this (00:16):
I always wondered why my grandpa had a golden milk carton statue sitting on the shelf. It said “To Jim Crawford, With Thanks” on the bottom of it.
So yeah. Before grandpa and the now ubiquitous carton, it was the milkman and bottles. And bags. It revolutionized the dairy industry, and allowed fresh milk to exist where it didn’t before. My grandfather was sent to Iran in the late 70s to work with dairy companies. He helped set up the machines which pasteurized milk and packaged it in that spiffy flip top box.
But not everyone has benefitted from this wonderful invention. For example, Bob Barker the dachshund has had many difficulties with grandpa’s invention (00:27):
And as a linguist, I also feel the need to add this tidbit. In addition to revolutionizing the dairy industry, the invention of the milk carton led to the creation of a new word: lactomangulation.
(lak’tō-man’gū-lay’shən)
1. (n.) Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the “illegal” side.
This fine word is a sniglet. Sniglets, of course, were made famous by HBO’s old comedy show Not Necessarily the News.
Murali here can help you prevent lactomangulation (00:21):
Grandpa also had a plaque with the definition of lactomangulation on the wall, not far from the golden milk carton statue on the shelf. The connection was still not obvious to me until late into my teens.
Unfortunately, I am not the heiress to the dairy fortune; like most engineer employees, grandpa had to sell his patent to the company he worked for. In 1975, he received a big fat royalty check for the whopping sum of $75. The consolation prize is that I do have a nicely bound volume of his patents, which I think is really cool.
2. I listen to house music when I write papers. At least I did when I was writing my MA thesis. In one way, it made me feel like less of a dork. I may have been tapping away at a research paper, but I was clubbing at the same time. Play this video last (it’s about 10:00), and see if you can get work done with this as your background:
I find now that I can’t do the house music/writing thing anymore. Too distracting. I do most of my writing at the 1369 Coffeehouse, whose music selection is usually fantastic, and overlaps a lot with mine (even some of the African stuff. I love those guys).
3. I don’t like to buy the magazine/shirt/can of beans that is in the front of the stack. I don’t have a video for this one. It’s just a weird thing about me. I don’t do it all the time, and the habit is not to the point of OCD. Just weird.
4. I am an award-winning golfer. No shit. Back when Dad belonged to the Detroit Golf Club, I spent my Saturdays in the youth league. At the beginning, I could shoot a 69–for one hole. The youngins started out small, and certainly didn’t play 18 holes. But I did my lessons every week (head down, arms straight, hips stable, follow through) and by the end of that year, I was down to about a 12 for the par 4 on #1 South. And at the end of that summer, I got a trophy for being the most improved one-holer.
And though I never won an award for it, I once hit a 125 yard shot straight into the hole. Straight in. The ball didn’t bounce, the pin didn’t even shake. Although it wasn’t a hole-in-one, and my dad was the only witness, it felt like this (1:17):
I declared lifelong bragging rights after that, then retirement. I mean, you have to let Tiger Woods be the best at something.
5. I once had to leave a church crying because the thought of infinity scared me so badly. To quote Outkast, “Forever, forever, ever, forever, ever?” Where did it come from, where did it go? When did it end? I don’t know exactly what it was. The image in my head associated with these thoughts looked something like this, on repeat, and I freaked out (00:20):
6. I like to listen to particular songs on loop for hours at a time. I know, sounds paradoxical, given #5. It started with Spring Break my senior year and a cassette tape single of Ace of Base’s The Sign. Long story. But listening to things ad infinitum didn’t really get old after that.
The song that’s on loop for me this week? I can’t stop hitting play (3:09):
7. I used to choreograph and stage musical events for my family. For the hell of it. Sometimes with friends, and sometimes with my cousins when they were around. We invented storylines. We had rehearsals. We memorized lines. We choreographed, and we danced. One was based around this song. And when we were ready, we gathered the family in one room, and we performed. Yes, I was the ringleader, but I don’t think any of my cousins and friends can honestly say they unwillingly participated in it.
And the biggest chef d’oeuvre of my teenage directing/producing career? It was created for my mother’s 2nd wedding. Using a very special song by one of my favorite artists at the time. Minus the accordion, it looked a lot like this (5:00):
Except with microphones. With more performers. With a large audience. At a wedding reception. I can hear the cries of shame coming from my cousins as this video plays.
8. I have an uncanny ability to spot sampled loops in songs, and can usually identify their original source. And it makes me happy when I hear one. I’ve thought many times that this ability would make me an outstanding entertainment lawyer. But we already have one of those in the family. We all know Puff Daddy sampled The Police in his tribute to The Notorious B.I.G., that was an easy one (4:04):
Of the multitude of samples I’ve heard and delighted in, the one that has excited me the most was the use of a loop from a song on The Monkees album Headquarters. Yes, wacky fact 8 1/2 about me: I had a brief obsession with the Monkees in the late 80s when they made their comeback on MTV. The song is called Zilch:
Sample of Zilch (iTunes) (Amazon–scroll down page for sample)
The main loop in this song turned into a catchy little tune created by Del Tha Funkee Homosapien called Mistadobalina (3:58):
This, of course, is on Del’s album I Wish My Brother George Was Here.
Zilch also spawned this one, posted on YouTube earlier this month, which just kind of freaks me out (8:41):
Del, wherever you’re at, I know you or someone you know is listening to The Monkees, and that makes me happy. Well done.
OK. That’s it. I’m tired. That’s all the fun trivia you’re going to get out of me today. I don’t even know who to tag to continue this meme, because I don’t read that many blogs. Instead, I might start a meme of my own, and see who follows.
