My love-hate relationship with the French #1: Humor

For those who may not know, I am in Paris for the month of July. It is a working vacation–Jay has math workshops, I have a linguistics conference, and we have about two weeks inbetween these things. We are hooked up in a nice apartment in the 2nd, after a pretty harrowing experience of being scammed. That story to come. Being back in France allows me to reflect on the 3 months Jay and I spent here in the summer of 2006, and in fact, all the times I’ve come to Paris since the first time in 1990. Man, I’ve been coming to France on and off for 18 years. Crazy.

France and I have a history. So perhaps it’s not surprising that I have a love-hate relationship with the French. Many people feel this way about the French. Rather than listing the things that both irk and endear me to these wonderful people, I’ve decided that the aspects of my love-hate relationship should get a series. In the first of the LHRF series, I will discuss my love-hate relationship with French Humor.

The French have an unusually wry sense of humor. I am a fan of wry humor. Except when it gets used on me. And the French like to do this. One instance that I was subjected to more than a few times last time I was here was something like the following, usually at a restaurant:

Me: Do you have a toilet?/Are there toilets?

Waiter: No, I’m sorry.

Me: Oh.

Waiter: No, I’m just joking. They’re over on the left.

So yesterday we walk by a fromagerie, and in the display case on the street are plates of cheese; The plates are advertised for 6 euros each, and there are about 4 different cheeses on each plate. They were brie-looking cheeses, but I couldn’t tell what kinds they were. 6 euros seemed like a decent price to pay for 4 different kinds of cheeses, so I thought I’d ask what they were. And I get this:

Me to the cheesemonger: What is on the plates?

Cheesemonger: Cheese.

Is this really necessary? To a stranger no less? Do they get their kicks out of the person’s reaction? Yes, catching someone off their guard is funny, I’ll admit. But in everyday transactions like finding the bathroom? Are French just unmercifully cruel on people who can’t identify cheese by sight or don’t make the assumption that a restaurant has a public toilet?

You know what happens when you make a supposition. You make a supp out of os and ition. Like myself, perhaps the French need a snark stripper.

But as I am also a linguist, I have to wonder: is this interaction only a result of humor at play, or is there something subtly linguistic I’m missing here. Is there something about the questions est-ce qu’il y a des toilettes or qu’est-ce qu’il y a sur le plateau that warrants that kind of response?

Comments, especially from native speakers, will be carefully considered, and earn you a coupon good for “one less frog joke” redeemable when I have been hitting the Bordeaux a little hard.

Apparently Delta reads my blog.

In April, I posted about Delta’s under the radar change of their baggage policy where they decided not only to charge $25 for a second checked bag, but also decided not to tell so many people about it. At that time, I questioned our friendship, said we’d get along much better if they just tried to contact me every once in awhile, and threatened to break up with them.

I have been trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, though. Hey, they got me to South Africa for $124.00 and some frequent flyer miles. I’m willing to give them a second chance for that. And to wit, I (and my one free bag) have flown with Delta 3 times since their policy came into effect in May. In fact, 2 of those flights were yesterday. Things are looking up. I’d say we’re back on good terms.

But then, my good friends at Travelocity sent me this the other day:

Delta has recently announced they are offering a rebate to customers who were charged the $25 second baggage fee if the tickets were purchased before April 9th 2008. We want to ensure that you have been notified of this information and are aware of the rebate being provided by Delta Airlines…

In response to customer feedback and as a matter of goodwill, Delta has decided to make a one-time exception to the rules established in its contract of carriage by offering rebates of the second checked bag fee to those passengers who purchased tickets before this new fee was announced on delta.com.

Nice gesture, Delta, I appreciate this. But again, and I’m sorry to have to say this, your coquetry is wearing thin. Travelocity is sending me this information? What, are you too ashamed to tell me personally? You have my email address. You have my frequent flyer number. You have my phone # for text messages. You have a freakin’ database with all flights taken during this time.

I know you’ve been going through a hard time and all, what with rising gas prices and the Northwest merger. You’re stressed out and you’ve got a lot on your plate. But I do think it’s time that you and I sat down and had a chat about your communication skills.

How about Sunday, after I get to Paris on yet another Delta ticket, discounted by frequent flyer miles? Oh, and if you have a little extra time, let’s chat about your SkyTeam partner Air France and their uncanny ability to lose every piece of luggage that goes through CDG.

See you in Paris, cheri, hopefully with my free, checked and less than 50 lbs bag in hand.

The 9 minute snooze

Hello my 4 faithful readers.

Just got back from a hectic week in Atlanta, and I have lots to write about that trip.  The last 2 weeks have required me to use multiple alarm clocks to get me up in the morning.  I am a chronic snoozer.  And I’ve just noticed that each alarm I have does a snooze for 9 minutes.  Not 8, not 10.  Does anyone know why snoozes are for 9 minutes?

Pack light or pay the price

Jay and I recently gave away a suitcase that we got as a wedding gift. It was the Inspector Gadget of suitcases: it came with accoutrements like a laundry bag, shoe holder that zips to the side, toiletry kit, and sportcoat folder. It was such a size that we could pack both of our goods in it, no matter what length the trip, which saved us having to wait for two bags at baggage claim. It was really cool. Why did we end up giving away such a sweet case?

It was too big. And when we used it as a 2-for-1 case, it was too heavy.

And we paid the price. One time coming back from a trip, AirTran made us pay $80 because the size was greater than company guidelines. “Funny, we didn’t have to pay for it on the way there…” Let’s just say measuring tapes were involved. And once, on the way to France (or Vegas or somewhere), we got busted for the weight. This caused the embarrassing at-the-checkin-counter-in-front-of-the-whole-world opening of the bag and transferring of heavy items to a carry-on. Shoes, weigh. More shoes, weigh. Toiletry kit, weigh. Wait, can’t take the toiletry kit on board. Pants, weigh. At least that time, we didn’t have to pay. The airline had to make a buck somewhere else that day.

Eagle Creek, however, did made a buck not too long after that day, cause I had to buy a new, smaller suitcase. Shout out, though–Eagle Creek’s baggage and traveling accessories are awesome.

In what I am assuming is their latest attempt to stay solvent, Delta is invoking a one bag only policy on domestic flights (including US Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico). After May 1, you bring two bags, you pay $25. My friends at Travelocity were kind enough to email me alerting me to this fact yesterday, as I am traveling to Atlanta on Delta in May after the policy changes. The Washington Post ever so thoughtfully alerted travelers to this new policy on March 20.

That’s fine. But what’s up, Delta? I thought we were friends. Besides the page in the “What’s New?” section of your site (no post date), there is a teeny mention of the change on your excess baggage page. I subscribe to your announcement emails, I get your weekly fare specials, I even own a credit card that gives me Delta SkyMiles. I fly almost exclusively with you because of my connections to the ATL, which happens to be your hub. I got nothing. No announcements, no emails. Where’s the heads up? Feels a little sketchy. Anyone with me here?